Saturday, 30 August 2008

How to punish a masochist slut?

Sometimes I go to some IRC chatrooms on the server irc.bondage.com and yesterday I became involved in a discussion regarding what is and what is not a punishment. Some subgirls insisted that if I enjoyed being whipped then whipping me would not be a punishment. So how did their Master punish them, then? By hugs, kisses and caresses? No, simply by ignoring them.

This sort of reminds me of the old story about the masochist woman who married a sadistic man and on their wedding night begged him to beat her. His answer? “NO!”

You might think that a relationship built upon ignoring your sub in order to punish her would be a tedious one. Personally, I feel that it is a wonderful thing to be able to arouse each other beyond comparison when playing together. Master loves to whip me and I love being whipped. The sessions do often get very hard. Naturally, it hurts. If somebody slash bloody streaks into your body, is it not a punishment?

Does a punishment have be a negative experience? We want to arouse each other and we have found how to do it. I don’t have to provoke Master to punish me, if I may use the word punishment even though I want it and I enjoy it. We don’t need any punishment book or reasons for my punishment. When we feel like playing we just do it. Of course it hurts. It hurts terribly. But at the same time I get more and more aroused from the endorphins bulding up within me and he always drives me over the top. Not to mention that the path leading to the session, arranging everything, building up the apprehension… all that adds a lot to the total experience.

I get a feeling that many s&m practioneers are trying to follow some established rules on how it should be just for the sake of it instead of focusing on what is right for themselves. It’s very simple, really. There are no definite rules. We create our own rules. As long as we act in a sensible way and care for each other, as long as we play safe, then we can do what we want. Sure, our way of doing things may not be accepted by all of the s&m/bdsm community. But I think I can live with that.

In the discussion one girl also insisted that it was physically impossible for anyone to take a hundred lashes and to prove her point she mentioned somebody she knew who had to have surgery after having received twenty lashes. So I was obviously instantly categorized as somebody who didn’t know anything about s&m and had to get some experience before having some opinions on the subject.

I never mentioned that I have taken much more than a hundred lashes, many times. Sure, one single lash may break your spine if administred by somebody who doesn’t know what he is doing. But somehow I feel that some people are too fast to jump to conclusions and have great difficulties in seeing other's points of view.

What do you think? I would very much like to have your comments on this. Does a punishment cease to be a punishment the minute the sub enjoys it? What is the point, really, of punishing a slut by ignoring her? Would you, as a sadist or a Dom, rather use the whip on your slaveslut than simply ignoring her in order to make her suffer? Please let me know what you think. And have a spanking great weekend all! By the way, if you haven't tried IRC (Internet Relay Chat), I can recommend it. Download the mIRC software and have a go! Maybe I'll see you at bondage.com?

Check out this gallery for some spanking fun:

13 comments:

jujubees1 said...

Tina,

We are all consenting adults (hopefully). It shouldn't matter if a couple enjoys whipping for play and sex and also uses it in the context of punishment, pretend or real. A persons mindset might be slightly different for each of those types of play, but what difference does that make?

I would hate being ignored, to me that is cruel and unusual and would drive me insane. Give me a good whipping any day of the week and send me to cyberspace during it, even better.

If you want to call it punishment or sex that's up to you, as long as you both agree on what happens.

Thanks for the link! Jujubees

tina said...

Thanks for the input, Jujubees. Seems like we're thnking along the same lines.

Snuskgubben said...

Hi Tina, we met briefly in the ix-chat. I've read most blogposts here by now and I find you very fascinating. It makes me horny to think of a woman who submits to her lust in such an extreme way, although I am not a sadist myself, and I could in no way be a dom who could satisfy a woman like you even remotely.

Do you really crave, and can you really stand, pain in such a huge amount that you write about in your book excerpts?

You write that you have received more than 100 lashes several times. But then your body must be covered by marks and scars. Mustn't you cover almost all of your body to most people then, to avoid suspicion, even in summer? Could you go the beach, or to a swimming pool, or to a gym?

How many lashes have you received as a maximum?

You wrote that you want to be publically flogged. Surely, your master can arrange such a thing, with a group of invited spectators that can participate in the flogging?

I also find this with wetsex fascinating, with your master arranging for a group of men drinking beer to be able to piss in your mouth several times.

This could be further developed: You can rent a bar for a night, with lots of (invited) men drinking beer, with you as urinal. You must drink all their urine during all the night. They should have no other place to piss than in your mouth...
Fun... right? ;)

Regards,

Snuskgubben ("Dirty old man")

tina said...

Nice to hear from you :-)

Yes, I do have plenty of marks but those I see as marks of love. They actually arouse me. I have no need to conceal them and gladly go to the beach as usual.

As for the book excerpts, they are pure fantasies. This has not actually happened... yet. However, I must say that many of my IRL experiences come pretty close...

Take care,
tina

Mia said...

I really like this blog post, it touched many of the thoughts I had a couple of months ago. I realized that I was aroused by pain and bondage only a year ago, and almost immediately started up a Master/Slave relationship with a guy I knew was a sadist and had know for a couple of years. We are both young, only nineteen, and then only eightteen, and none of us hade done anything close to BDSM before. He was very strict about rules and how things "should" be, couse he had "read about it". He aggreed with the girls you met on the chat; a punishment isn't a punishment if the slut enjoys it. He didn't ignore me, but he did things he knew I really didn't like, and was going to far for me so early on.

After a couple of months with this treament (often without any reason), I ended it because I did not trust him anymore and started to dream nightmares that wasn't arousing. This is now nine months ago, and I am still unable to trust and let another man be my Master, though my body sometimes aches and screams for pain caused by another person.

This does of course not happen if the Master ignores the slut, but my point is that, for me, and many others I have talked to, BDSM is just a game. It's a fun way to enjoy and get pleasure, and the punishment should therefore be a part of the game and enjoyable. If one of the parts doesn't enjoy it, something is wrong.

So I really liked that you brought this up and said that it doesn't matter what's said in the chatrooms or forums, because it's what's right for you that counts!

Thank you. :)

tina said...

So nice to hear from you, mia. Honestly, I am glad that you got away from this relationship. I really see no point i keep on doing something which you feel is wrong. You are still young and you have many wonderful years before you to discover the beauty of subspace.

I have also seen that many younger men who call themselves dominants are trying to live up to some ideal which they have read about and which they believe is right. They have no interaction whatsoever with the woman and really don't know what they are doing. Therefore, I think more mature men are actually better when it comes to this sort of relationship.

Please come back again and do tell me about your further advancements into this wonderful world. Do you have your own blog?

*hugs*
tina

Anonymous said...

If we punish our kids and it does not hurt them it's fun for them do they learn. I think if it's really a punishment the submissive must fear not doing this again.

Don't touch that hot burner again! It hurts.

Thanks for the touhts Tina I enjoyed reading it.

Ame said...

I'm a submissive Masochist as well, and personally, ignoring me is probably the best way to punish me. I 'act out' simple to get punishment sometimes, though I know I don't need to and that I'll get 'punishment' regardless, but if I do step to far, ignoring me works. I can't say using a whip doesn't, because it does, just in a different way. I suppose it is different for everyone. But I truly believe that my Master simply ignoring me is the best use of punishment. I don't enjoy it, and it doesn't cause any real damage that could harm the relationship as a whole.

Ame said...

I'm a submissive Masochist as well, and personally, ignoring me is probably the best way to punish me. I 'act out' simple to get punishment sometimes, though I know I don't need to and that I'll get 'punishment' regardless, but if I do step to far, ignoring me works. I can't say using a whip doesn't, because it does, just in a different way. I suppose it is different for everyone. But I truly believe that my Master simply ignoring me is the best use of punishment. I don't enjoy it, and it doesn't cause any real damage that could harm the relationship as a whole.

intongues said...

Ignoring your girl or explaining that you are disappointed, upset or hurt I have found to be more effective than physically punishing her. However this does depend on her being emotionally connected to me.
Physical punishment can work, but does need to be recognised that it is punishment and linked to my disappointment in her. The punishment should be limited and painful such as across the back of the hand or the cane sharp and deliberate. It should not be to an extent that endorphines become aroused thatthe punishment becomes a reward.

There are many studies that indicate that bad behaviour is often something used to gain attention. Good behaviour should be rewarded, not bad behaviour. Saying no to a request for pain is very sadistic. But encouraging good behaviour can be reinforced through pain (reward).

Skinner found that continuous reinforcement schedules produced a faster rate of learning in the early stages of a training program, and also a more rapid extinction rate once the reinforcement was discontinued. A behavior no longer followed by the reinforcing stimulus results in a decreased probability of that behavior occurring in the future.

intongues said...

Schedules of Reinforcement:
• Continuous reinforcement - reinforcement is given every time the animal gives the desired response.
• Intermittent reinforcement - reinforcement is given only part of the times the animal gives the desired response.
• Ratio reinforcement - a pre-determined proportion of responses will be reinforced.
• Fixed ratio reinforcement - reinforcement is given on a regular ratio, such as every fifth time the desired behavior is produced.
• Variable (random) fixed reinforcement- reinforcement is given for a predetermined proportion of responses, but randomly instead of on a fixed schedule.
• Interval reinforcement- reinforcement is given after a predetermined period of time.
• Fixed interval reinforcement - reinforcement is given on a regular schedule, such as every five minutes.
• Variable interval reinforcement - reinforcement is given after random amounts of time have passed.
In animal studies, Skinner found that continuous reinforcement in the early stages of training seems to increase the rate of learning. Later, intermittent reinforcement keeps the response going longer and slows extinction.

Unknown said...

I think that when the submissive enjoys the punishment, it is no longer a punishment it becomes a reward. For example, I am a massive pain freak and when I feel like I need that pain, misbehaving on purpose does not get me what I want. It usually gets my nose stuck in a corner. (Which by the way I hate) this also leads to being ignored. If I want pain I have to be a good girl.

Unknown said...

I think that when the submissive enjoys the punishment, it is no longer a punishment it becomes a reward. For example, I am a massive pain freak and when I feel like I need that pain, misbehaving on purpose does not get me what I want. It usually gets my nose stuck in a corner. (Which by the way I hate) this also leads to being ignored. If I want pain I have to be a good girl.