What’s the point of punishing a masochist?

Something which is always up for discussion is how a d/s relationship should be. Some of us are relying on written slave contracts which of course may add some extra excitement to the relationship. Others just go along more freely and develop their relationship as they go along. But is it really necessary that a ‘punishment’ should be a negative experience for the sub/slave? If I get a kick out of being whipped, would a proper punishment be just to deprive me of the kiss of the whip? I get the distinct feeling that many are trying to live up to what a relationship between slave and Master should be, based on various books and writings. Just like somebody into religion will try to find the truth in the Bible or in the Koran instead of going into themselves and see what works for them personally. I mean, we all have God/the Power/the Energy or whatever you call it within us, haven’t we?

In our relationship both me and my Master get a kick out of playing and living out our fantasies and it adds such immense enjoyment to our sex life that I can hardly describe it. True, it happens that Master gives me explicit orders not to come for a long time. The strategy is to keep me in a constant state of arousal without being allowed to climax. But the effect of this will be that I will get even more aroused in the process and when I am finally allowed to unleash all the passions and lust which have been building up with in me, my orgasms will be so much more intense and I can keep on climaxing again and again until I feel I’m about to pass out. Master’s strategy of denying me to climax is a means to an end and not actually a pounsihment for making me suffer. The same goes for hard whippings and canings. Yes, it hurts like hell. But in the process an uncontrollable heat will build up within me as my endorphine level is rising, a heat which takes over my body and my mind. It simply gives me an enormous kick, new energy and happiness. Many of you have been there, my friends. You know perfectly well what subspace is all about, when you drift onto the higher level and feel so good you can hardly understand it. I suppose the same thing can be achieved by drugs (it must - why would otherwise so many use them and burn their brains out in the process?).

For me and Master our relationship, our playing and our fantasies is a source of energy and happiness. It’s like opening the door to the other side, to a new wonderful world. In contrast to drugs this has no negative side effects as long as you do play it safe – and that’s where I realize that it could go wrong for many. I cannot stress enough how important it is to read each other, to learn how to feel your partner and her/his reactions.What do you think? What is bdsm and d/s to you? Is it a roleplay according to some determined rules or doy you live it the way me and Master do? Must a punishment be a negative experience for the slave? It will be interesting to hear your thoughts on this. Take care and play safe, tina

How to punish a masochist slut?

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Belle de Jour whipping scene

Here is a clip from the film Belle de Jour, starring Catherine Deneuve, from 1967. The story is about a frustrated housewife who cannot be satisfied by her man. She has vivid masochistic fantasies (believe me, I know how it feels…) and one day she starts to work secretly in a brothel, using the name Belle de Jour. Very soon she meets a bad guy who has the power to make some of her hidden fantasies come alive and then… no, I really don’t want to spoil the fun for you. See the film yourself, you won’t regret it!

A great tool for self-punishment

I have found a truly great tool for self-punishment! It’s a hard wooden paddle, length 47 cm. The paddle is heavy and very well balanced and it lies perfectly in my hand. Since I found it yesterday I have been using it very actively on my bare bottom and the burning pain it produces with every smack is something absolutely wonderful. The fire spreads from my bottom, orgasm to my sex and I’m not ashamed to confess that I am horny as a bitch in heat after a session with the paddle. Last night I was smacking my rump as hard as I could while masturbating and the ever consuming fire drew me to one marvellous orgasm after another.

This wonderful tool enables me to strike hard at exactly the spot I want to which can be hard when using whips, rods and switches. When I spank myself with the paddle I am overwhelmed by a strange fever, an obsession with continuing, to smack myself as hard as I possibly can to make the burning pain keep growing. Even if I smack myself very hard, the sound is muffled and discreet so the paddle is perfect when I am by myself for a short while and simply must have a good spanking right on the spot. Right now I have given myself a really hard trashing, smacking myself for a very long time and my poor globes are two glowing red balls of pure pain. I am sitting with my tortured swollen bottom on a wooden chair and the cold, hard surface feels so soothing and nice against my red hot rump.

When the fire eventually fades away, a deep, numb pain remains and the slightest touch is a very painful experience. At the slightest movement I am reminded of my thoroughly spanked bottom. I expect to be really black and blue the next days but it’s so good… mmmmmmm

I have been thinking about how to optimize the effect of this wonderful tool of correction. Maybe I should drill some holes through the paddle or carve some marks into the wood so that they are reproduced on my buttocks after each whack. Another possibility would be gluing some metal object to the paddle, with a structure sticking out. Then the metal would be embedded deep into my flesh as I whack myself and leave perfect impressions, just like a stamp. This would be the closest I could get to being branded with a red hot branding iron, something which I have yet to experience. But I am certainly dreaming about it and I am yearning for the day it shall become reality…

Innocent in terror - a great example of s&m porn smut

I just can’t help it but s&m porn smut turns me on! It inspires my fantasies, which, as you may have noticed, can be quite brutal at times. Strange? Well, my philosophy is very simple: anything that makes me horny is something positive! Maybe I wouldn’t dare writing like this if I were to publish pictures of myself. At this state I have a certain security, a shield of anonymity. It may not be especially common that mothers and housewives have a passion for literature of this sort but then I am one of the exceptions.

Anyway, back to the subject. My Master collects many things and when he comes to me he always brings me some exciting presents. It may be a whip or a riding crop – naturally intended for being used on me later – or something to spark my imagination and fantasies. This book surely did.

Innocent in terror is a book from the Star Distributors’ series. If I ever see a book title with the prefix ‘WIP’ I know it will be in my taste. This indicates that the book is from the Star people and although the plots are very simple and the storyline is made to expose as many rape and torture scenes as possible, I simply love the stuff! Yes, they are written by men – for men. They are often illustrated with simple but erotic drawings. In the 1970s Star was pumping out zillions of s&m smut paperbacks and I have just seen a few of them sofar. But I find the books very exciting and they often fuels my own fantasies.

The storyline of Innocent in terror is very simple. Young blonde Tammy Hartman runs away from her Midwest home in search of fame and stardom in Hollywood. Working as a waitress, she never seems to get enough money for the ticket west so she sells her body to one of the guests in order to pay for the trip. Once in California she falls into the hands of Margo Productions – a production company specializing in X-rated horror movies. Poor Tammy is subjected to the most brutal tortures and other perversions and soon she comes to enjoy it. Out of Morgo Productions comes a full-fledged masochist. However, the people behind the studio goes too far and finally Tammy and her stallmates rebels against the terror.

Yes, this book is a perfect example of basic, no-nonse low budget smut. Still, this book, and many others in the same vein, have been a great inspiration for me and my Master. Just having to hide possessions like this from prying eyes adds to my excitement…

Tina’s confession

Yes, I willingly admit it: I am a masochist. There is nothing that turns me on so much as pain and humiliation. This does not mean, however, that I am searching for a “Master” or a Dom. Actually, I am owned in rl. Owned by a gentle, understanding and very strict Man who shares my views and visions perfectly. Neither of us want a 24/7 relationship. We are not living together and we have no desire to do so. But we do see each other, although it may take quite some time between each occasion. Both of us have the need to spend time alone and this is something which would probably not do our relationship any good if we were to live together.

Naturally, my Master uses me in every possible way and once I had tasted this wonderful world I realize that I never can or will go back to living an “ordinary” life with vanilla sex.
You would probably not notice anything special about me if we met. On the surface a quite ordinary single mother of two teenagers. Maybe a bit shy and discreet. Yes, that is also the picture I like to convey of myself. This blog is one way of letting out the steam – to share my thoughts and experiences with others who enjoy the lifestyle and have similar interests.

Once again: I am NOT looking for a Master, neither in rl or cyber. However, one thing that really turns me on is practising self-discipline. My beloved Master, owner of my body and my mind, often gives me detailed orders of self-discipline that I have to carry out and then report to Him. We both agree that it would be very exciting if somebody else would give me orders of self-discipline that I can carry out. I will then report of the results in the blog.

As for my limits: animalsex, kidsex and scat are definite no-nos for me. Also, mutilation and lasting damage is not my bag. Therefore, knife scars, for instance, is not something for me. However, I do have a very high pain tolerance and it increases all the time as the endorphin level is building up within my body. My Master often whips me so hard that bloody streaks results and when I use a whip or rod on myself, I want to strike as hard as I possibly can, leaving marks and scars that will last for a long time.

Although I live what seems like a most ordinary life, my passions are boiling beneath the surface all the time. Sometime I am totally desperate to get away to experience pain for a while and then drive myself to orgasms, one after another. Pain brings me the most wonderful orgasms and I could not live without it.

I am just starting this blog and I hope we will get to know each other better as we go along. Personally, I feel the mental part of dominance and submission very exciting and I love sharing fantasies. I also love to write about my experiences and fantasies.
So, this is my confession, or, shall we say, my introduction. I look forward to sharing thoughts, views and fantasies with you all.
Take care. *hugs* tina