Tuesday, 30 September 2008

How about discipline without sex?

I must confess that many times I prefer being disciplined rather than more sexual treatment. Long ago, as I was trying to find my identity, I was seeking contacts with men who would like to spank me and discipline me. I answered some contact ads and eventually I met a few men. Although it did not lead to any lasting relationship, there was a much older man whom I visited in order to let him punish me. There was never any question about having sex: he just wanted to spank me and treat me as his naughty girl. Believe me, when he finally sent me home, I was a very good girl... The excitement I experienced when he was punishing me was very intense but I had no desire whatsoever to have sex with him. But as I went home with a sore, burning bottom and my blood boiling with lust, I felt so relieved. So content. Yes, I would masturbate when I got back home and especially when admiring my swollen red bottom in the mirror. But it never ever crossed my mind that I would have sex with this man. Neither one of us had any need for that.

The punishment sessions got harder and harder and it was this man who really taught me how wonderful a good birching can be. He ordered me to pick fresh birch switches to bring with me as I came to his home. Unfortunately our meetings came to an abrupt end and for a very long time I had to rely on self-discipline although I was very positive about what it was that I was longing for. I am forever grateful to this man for making me a birching addict :-)

I can still feel the same way. Often I fantasize about what it would be like to be punished by an unknown man, maybe somebody I have met in the street. Just punished, strictly and severely, but without having sex. I simply have no need for having sex with anybody else than my Master. But I could well do it if it was part of a session involving him and others. Although I and Master spend long periods away from each other I never have any need for having sex with another man (or woman, for that matter). Neither would I ever let anybody else punish me without my Master's approval. But the thought is actually very exciting... visiting a very strict man and after a very intense and painful session going home with a very sore and velted bottom... mmmmm

What do you think, my friends? Anyone who gets a kick out of bdsm and punishment sessions without having sex in the end? Is it the orgasms and the penetration that is the ultimate goal or is the heat and excitement enough? Please tell me your thoughts on this.


Your Little Slut said...

Hi Tina, I came across your blog and was delighted to read what you have written. I have a Master figure in my life as well, and things are beginning to get very intense. Perhaps I am not as much of a pain slut as you, but I invite you to look at my blog pandoreanslut.blogspot.com to keep up with some of my adventures :)

amanda said...

Haha oj, jag hade ingen aning om att du var svensk så jag skrev ju en kommentar helt på engelska men =D
Ja, jag brukar titta in på din blogg då och då. Jag gillar verkligen ditt sätt att skriva, tycker du är sjukt duktig!
Okej, jag såg det, tack! Kan lägga in en länk till dig också.
Det är en kille, Turbo heter han, han är typ 6 månader och supergullig, en Bichon Frisé.
Kul att du svarade på kommentaren!
Du med, kram.

Anonymous said...

Well? Did your master allow you to play with matches?

Your Little Slut said...

Hi tinaslut. I know that I already commented on this post, however, I had to perform self-punishment today in the form of whipping my tits, and making it count ;) It hurt terribly, as I really did put effort into leaving marks as He told me to. My breasts are bruised and little breaks in my skin are appearing in tiny red droplets. I thought you might appreciate this - another small step into real pain. I haven't played much with intense pain until things recently began speeding up between my master and I. I must say, there is something quite erotic and thrilling about self-punishment and punishment by Him. I'm growing quite fond of it as I survive each trial. It's..empowering in a way.
I would like to link you as well =)

moonheart said...

I also had a Master who disciplined me and gave me some real intense spankings (He is so good at it) and we never had sex. I didn't miss it in that relationship. The relationship i now have with my Master T. is not only based on my masochistic side but also on my slutty side and so we have sex together too and perhaps even in the future there will be other men involved. I like to have sex with my Master; i love Him. But a good D/s relationship also can do without the sex i think.

Sweet greetings from moonheart

Anonymous said...

Hello Tina, I would like to know what does he punish you over? What form of discipline? Does he just make things up? Thanks for taking the time to respond Tina.

Abel1234 said...

Found this post rather belatedly, and loved it. Very well-written and thought-provoking.

There are kinky friends with whom spanking leads on to sex, for me, and others where sex isn't part of the equation at all. That doesn't mean that the experience or friendship is any less intense with the latter group: just, for some reason, that sexual intimacy isn't part of the dynamic.

I do find the concept of the unknown disciplinarian incredibly hot. A girl sent to me to be punished: caned, birched, presumably bearing a letter from her gentleman explaining what she had done wrong? And then sending her home afterwards. (The thought of sending one of my partners to be dealt with like this is so hot, too!)

tinaslut said...

anononymous: Actually Master needs no reason for punishing me - just that we both want it is enough. We have no punishment book where my failures will qualify for a trashing. So is this punishment, then? Whatever you call it we surely are enjoying it.

Abel: Great to hear from you and interesting to see there are different points of view about bdsm and spanking. Yes, I don't think there is a definite truth about how you should act it out as long as you are responsible and caring for each other. I hope that some naughty girl will be sent your way very soon to be punished :-)

Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

Hej Tina,

Eftersom du jo er svensk, forstår du nok mit danske!
Jeg kan sagtens sætte mig ind i, hvordan du føler.
Mange af de piger/kvinder, jeg har afstraffet, har heller ikke haft behovet for sex i forbindelse med afstraffelsen, men har mere trængt til følelsen af at "blive sat på plads".
Selv har jeg heller ikke i de situationer følt behovet for sex. Intensiteten i situationen og selve nydelsen ved at udføre afstraffelsen og opleve den virkning den havde på pigen var "sus" nok i sig selv.