Has it really been that long? My latest post is from January 11 this year and despite my abscence I see that each week about the same number of visitors comes here. As I can't see who you are it makes me wonder if it is my loyal friends coming back again and again in the hope of see some sign of life from me or if it is new visitors who have found something of interest in my blog. Generally, each visitor seems to spend several minutes here so I must have done something right :-)
My friends, I feel guilty for letting you down all the time. There really are no excuses. If you visit my blog and expect to find new content the least I can do is updating it now and then. After all it is a labour of love and believe me, I do get very aroused many times from writing my blog posts. To easen my guilt a bit I started using the riding crop on myself a few days back and the thought of my faithful visitors made the strokes very vicious and hard ones. My thighs and bottom are covered with welts and I am black and blue... and horny! Seems like each spring the desire to be whipped and punished takes over me and I have continued to add to all the welts and marks on my body by using the riding crop on myself each morning. I always start slowly first and make long intervals between each stroke, then increase the tempo and finally I am whipping myself like in a frenzy, like I want to whip the Devil out of myself! But whoever it is who has taken control of my sinful self he is there to stay.
If there is any comfort to you I give myself several hundreds of strokes with the riding crop each and every day now and it does hurt. It hurts terribly! I whip myself and build up a tremendous heat within me, until I simply must let go and flow with the eruption. I masturbate like crazy and come again and again. When I come to my senses I put the riding crop away for later use and then I can start a new wonderful day, striped and welted as I should be.
Lately I have been doing roleplays with people I have met in various chat forums. I get very aroused by being a victim of extreme tortures and punishments but my limits are very clear: no kidsex, animal sex or scat. Neither do I understand the point of amputations and mutilation - it's a complete turn-off to me. But some scenes can be so exciting that I feel like I am becoming a part of it in real life and hardly know who or where I am afterwards.
One scene which has been occupying my mind very often lately is that I am a prostitute who has seduced a wealthy man and his wife is furious and wants revenge. Through her connections she has had me imprisoned and sentenced to public floggings. She oversees each flogging and the muscular man who whips me really does a great job. Now and then the cruel woman urges him to whip me harder and he often doesn't stop until I hang limp in my shackles, my body covered with welts and bloody scars. The most exciting thing is the woman's vicious smile as she watches my flogging and it will be repeated again and again as I am flogged each fortnight. Thousands of hard lashes will leave permanent marks on my body. After the flogging I am so weak I can't stand up and I am taken to the prison hospital. When I am back in my cell I can be used freely by anyone who wants me and the cruel woman often visits me at night to torture and humiliate me even further. I am continously raped and the rough sex drives me to countless orgasms each day. I am turning into a painslut who desperately needs to be tortured, raped and humiliated each day. Often there is a long line of men and women standing outside my cell waiting for their turn. When I have finally received all the lashes I shall be branded publically with a red hot iron so that I will wear the woman's personal mark for the rest of my life.
This sort of fantasies fires me extremely and it gives me a lot of inspiration for writing stories. If only I had the motivation, the self-discipline to get further and complete the job. But instead I allow myself to fall under the influence of procrastination and so the wheel starts spinning all the slower until it finally stops. That's the reason why I may be away so long at times.
Anybody out there who have some good advice how to overcome the procrastination once and for all? Because this is what I really want. When I write, fantasize, interact with others and when I am punished IRL or do it myself, then I am indeed a hot lusty girl. I would really want it that way all the time. But how? Life isn't always easy.
Another thing that turns me on is pictures of women being punished and used. Like the one below, for instance. This single drawing can build up a scenario in my mind for an entire book. So why is it that I haven't already completed my second book as there are just a few chapters left to write? It feels like now is the time to do it. The working title is 'The Devil's Daughter'. Would you like to buy a copy?
Deep passionate hungry kisses from tina xxxxxxxxxxxxx