Innocent in terror - a great example of s&m porn smut

I just can’t help it but s&m porn smut turns me on! It inspires my fantasies, which, as you may have noticed, can be quite brutal at times. Strange? Well, my philosophy is very simple: anything that makes me horny is something positive! Maybe I wouldn’t dare writing like this if I were to publish pictures of myself. At this state I have a certain security, a shield of anonymity. It may not be especially common that mothers and housewives have a passion for literature of this sort but then I am one of the exceptions.

Anyway, back to the subject. My Master collects many things and when he comes to me he always brings me some exciting presents. It may be a whip or a riding crop – naturally intended for being used on me later – or something to spark my imagination and fantasies. This book surely did.

Innocent in terror is a book from the Star Distributors’ series. If I ever see a book title with the prefix ‘WIP’ I know it will be in my taste. This indicates that the book is from the Star people and although the plots are very simple and the storyline is made to expose as many rape and torture scenes as possible, I simply love the stuff! Yes, they are written by men – for men. They are often illustrated with simple but erotic drawings. In the 1970s Star was pumping out zillions of s&m smut paperbacks and I have just seen a few of them sofar. But I find the books very exciting and they often fuels my own fantasies.

The storyline of Innocent in terror is very simple. Young blonde Tammy Hartman runs away from her Midwest home in search of fame and stardom in Hollywood. Working as a waitress, she never seems to get enough money for the ticket west so she sells her body to one of the guests in order to pay for the trip. Once in California she falls into the hands of Margo Productions – a production company specializing in X-rated horror movies. Poor Tammy is subjected to the most brutal tortures and other perversions and soon she comes to enjoy it. Out of Morgo Productions comes a full-fledged masochist. However, the people behind the studio goes too far and finally Tammy and her stallmates rebels against the terror.

Yes, this book is a perfect example of basic, no-nonse low budget smut. Still, this book, and many others in the same vein, have been a great inspiration for me and my Master. Just having to hide possessions like this from prying eyes adds to my excitement…

The Story of O

Another exciting record cover! On this cover we see the beautiful Corinne Clery, who starred in the film version of ‘The Story of O’ from 1975. A very suggestive and erotic film although I think that the book was even more exciting, as it made you create your mental images before your mind’s eye. In a 1970s interview Corinne Clery stated that she actually enjoyed being whipped if it was done with love. Whether this was true or not I do not know. Nevertheless, a great story and her statement probably added a lot of promotional value.

The noble art of marketing

I just saw a post in a web forum where a guy was wondering why he never got any answers from women to his posts. Without having seen this particular post I have a pretty good idea why.
Enter a forum or a chat room as a female and you are instantly bombarded with photos of many men’s most precious possession: their cock! Usually in an erect state and the text goes something like “can you take a XL dick… pm me now”.

Seriously, if I wanted a dildo I would go out and buy one! I don’t need the entire kit – all the rest that comes with the dick. A dildo would, I suspect, in many cases have a more advanced intellectual capacity than the guys who post this rubbish. For me it’s a real turn-off, Besides, if your unique selling point is your dick, I would say your chances of getting a reply from any woman is microscopic.

Now and then I cyber-play. I used to have a very active IRC period and I still use it at times. So what do I encounter when I log in? Either “hi slut”, “come here slut”, just “hi” or “a/s/l”.

A/s/l? Am I supposed to answer 40/f/Stockholm? What a wonderful way of having a conversation. The a/s/l bit alone tells me that this person will not be of any interest to me. Just imagine what the play would be like. A lot of abbreviations there too, I suppose.

Our personality shines through very effectively in the way we use the language. The man who has a way with words will certainly spark my interest. After all, this was how I met my Master. A beautiful, rich language is a sign of creativity and it really turns me on. Yes, I think such a language is very sexy.

But what if you simply cannot do any better? If your skills in writing are so limited that you could not write more advanced sentences than 7-8 words at a time? Can you compensate your verbal shortcomings by having a huge dick?

No, I don’t think so. At least you are not for me. If you want to get through to any woman it will take a lot more than a photo of your cock.

By the way, anyone out there who recognize this artist? There was a set of pics about this girl Sheila being punished in many different ways. I would very much like to have these pics as I find them arousing.

Thorn in my buttocks - my bloody whipping

YESSSSSS… I made it! I am not saying it was easy and I am still not able to sit so this posting is written a bit at a time. But believe me, it was a real kick and even more exciting than I had imagined. What added to the experience was the Tiger Balm – an oriental heat rub which is usually used for treating pain, muscular aches, insect bites and so on. It contains camphor, menthol and many other exciting things. I had actually never used it before but somebody in a chat-room recommended it for self-punishment. How right he was!

Yesterday was a rainy day here in the Stockholm area and it was relatively easy to sneak out to pick the thorn branches. I selected five of them of various sizes and soon got back home without anyone noticing me. My punishment was to be 48 hard strokes and I started by smearing the thorns with tiger balm. In this way the balm would be pressed into the open wounds with each stroke and add to my pain. I had tried a very small portion of it on my clit the night before so I realized perfectly well how devilishly it could burn. But it added very much to my excitement as I was playing with myself that night.

I found the safest place for my self-punishment to be the bathroom. Of course I expected some blood. I had arranged a big mirror so I could see the result of the thorns biting into my flesh. I was standing on a white sheet which I had arranged on the floor and to drown any sounds I let the water run into the bathtub during the session and the stereo was on quite loud.

Time for the first stroke. I bent forward, aimed, swished the first branch a couple of times and then I struck with a force that even surprised myself. This cut would have been very painful even without the thorns. It hit perfectly across my naked globes and in the mirror I could see a bright red welt forming, with several droplets of blood appearing. Some wounds were bigger than the others and some blood trickled down my buttocks and thighs. But the most extreme sensation came a few seconds after the stroke. Suddenly it felt like my buttocks were burning and the fire was increasing all the time, just like when you have eaten very strong Spanish pepper and try to extinguish the fire by drinking water. My god, how it burned! The fire was so intense that I almost lost my breath and at the same time the very special tingling within me was building up as the fire was spreading through my body, radiating from my lacerated buttocks.

I waited a long time before striking again. Before I started I had decided to count to hundred before I laid on the next stroke and I followed that routine through the whole session. All the time I was trying to strike harder and I was rewarded with bigger bleeding wounds plus the excruciating fire which was becoming more and more intense, growing in strength all the time. The fire made me hot! I started to moan while I kept on whipping myself and I was sweating profusely. The pain and the burning sensation plus my exhausted state made me dizzy so I had to make a pause after 25 strokes. Yes, I must admit, I even brought myself to climax during this pause ;-) I also took a photo of the blood-stained sheet plus the switches.
















Blood splattered on the white sheet and although most wounds closed just after the stroke, there were some that kept on bleeding for a longer time and small trails of blood were trickling down my thighs. It felt like this pain and vicious fire which was running through every nerve in my body would never end. I was totally obsessed with the pain and I felt the wellknown sensation as the endorphin level was starting to rise.

When I finally had administred the 48th stroke, my poor buttocks were like two big swollen globes burning with pain. Bright red and full of small swollen pimples where the wounds had closed. I must have had hundreds of bleeding wounds on my buttocks and I was so sore that even the slightest touch of my lacerated bottom proved very painful.

Not only was I excited about having carried out the punishment that you, my dear readers, had decided I should do by your votes. No, what added so much to my excitement was the ever growing fire in my buttocks which kept on alternating all the time. I simply had to masturbate and I kept on coming again and again.

Master called from abroad late last night and I was proud to tell him about what I had done. He was very happy about it and told me I had been a good girl. The fantastic thing is that the fire is still there today, although it has decreased somewhat. Not to mention that my buttocks are very sore, swollen and full of marks. I am gradually getting back to reality although it will take a while before I can sit properly again. And I am so grateful to that unknown man who recommended Tiger Balm. This surely added a totally new dimension to my self-punishment session.

Finally time for me to suffer by my own hand...

Thank you so much all for voting in my self-punishment poll. The alternative that received the most votes is that I shall whip myself with thorned switches. As there were 48 votes for this alternative, I shall give myself 48 strokes and I will lay them on as hard as I possibly can. The self-punishment will be carried out later today and I will report about the results as soon as I possibly can. I am really excited about doing this...

The Vengeance Trail

Not much time for blogging today… anyway, here is a clip I found of the whipping scene from “The Vengeance Trail. Enjoy!

A very passionate whipping

Time to go to bed… but first I want to show you this clip from the 1963 movie ‘Frusta e il corpo’ (Body and the whip). Inspirational, to say the least…

Sometimes a picture tells more than a thousand words

I often get aroused by pictures of various kinds. It can be a comic strip, a picture in an advertisement or on a billboard, a painting. Although words are one of my biggest kinks (I tend to fall for verbal, creative men who have a good way with words – that’s how I met my Master, by the way!), pictures and images do a lot to spark my imagination and make my brain paint one masochistic fantasy after another. I have earlier shown some works by Picard and here is some more:

After seeing this picture I can never go past an anthill without getting excited and thinking naughty thoughts. There are billions and billions of little voluntary workers who will be just to happy to assist with a girl’s self-punishment.

I love this whipping scene below by Picard. In case you don‘t speak German, the Mother showing her guests around tells that the woman doing the whipping was made an overseer because she had actively reported her fellow inmates for various mistakes. She also tells the Countess that she should beware of the sharp rocks on the floor which could easily damage her shoes and hurt her. She adds that the floors are covered with sharp rocks because the female inmates must walk barefoot all the time. Isn’t that nice?

My Master has taught me a lot and I keep learning every day. Not only does he teach me submission but he has also opened up the world of 50s/60s music for me. He has a huge record collection and this cover surely made me excited the first time he showed the EP to me. For as long as I can remember I have been fantasizing about brutal cavemen, capturing their women by knocking them on the head with their heavy club and dragging them to their cave by the hair. A gorgeous cover, if you ask me.

I must say that I also like the music on this EP. The band is called the Piltdown Men and their rock’n’roll instrumentals are great. I think this EP is from 1960 (please, Master, forgive me if I’m wrong).

Yes, pictures can really set your mind on fire. By the way, have you voted in my poll yet? This Saturday (May 17th) I will carry out the self-punishment which gets the most votes. It is you who decides how you want me to suffer…

'Angelique and the Sultan' whipping scene

A scene from the film Angelique and the Sultan. The setting is just right, although we never get to see the branding (at least I have not found any clip of that yet).

Please vote in my poll for how you want me to punish myself. I am so excited about doing this, especially as it actually is you who are voting that decides how I shall suffer. I will carry out the self-punishment which get the most votes on May 17. Oh, how I am longing to do it…

Self-punishment: Tina's birching

This is not a fantasy story as everything happened exactly as I have written. I am already yearning to receive a new instruction for self-punishment :-) Please vote for what method you want me to use in my poll. I will then carry out the self-punishment that get the most votes.

Finally I did it! My apologies for the delay go to the Dom who ordered me to do it but I can assure you that it was both exciting and thriling to carry the punishment out One day i had the following mail in my inbox:

"Go out and pick a birch rod with many small switches... hide it in your closet and take it out when the kids have gone to bed, use it on yourself as hard as you can, on your behind and don't spare your cunt, keep on trashing yourself until you come... please report when you have completed the mission."

Believe me, this turned me on and made me very... well, horny *blushes*... as I read the mail. A totally unknown man somewhere in cyberspace directs my actions and tells me what to do. I found it especially exciting that he specifically ordered me to use the birch on my cunt! I used to feel ashamed about thinking of my sex in those terms but now I found it very arousing and it felt very natural. Just thinking of how it would feel using the birch rod on my pussy made me very excited. Master has on some occasions used a sharp rod on me as I was lying spread-eagled with a cushion under my behind to expose my wide-open pussy the most, but I had sofar never whipped myself there.

I must confess, however, that I did not obey this Dom to the letter. Instead of picking the birch rod and bringing it home I went out into the woods at a time when I knew I would be alone. It was a dark night and quite windy but I had selected the perfect spot for my performance. Deep into the woods there is a small depression in the ground surrounded by huge rocks and protected by the vegetation. Here nobody could see me and I was also protected from the chilly wind. Also, the wind would drown all sounds but to be on the safe side I put a scarf in my mouth as a provisional gag.

I take a walk with my dog Ville each evening. He is the most wonderful companion you could think of and although he is getting old he is a great watch dog. He followed me behind and when I told him to stay on the path to guard while I climbed down begind the rocks, he knew exactly what I expected from him.

Well, you could say that I was a bit disobedient. On the other hand I don't think I could have carried out the punishment as efficiently as I did if I had all the time been forced to listen after any sound from the room next to my bedroom, if any of my kids should wake up. Now it was only me, the birch rod and my faithful Ville guarding.

I had brought a pair o pruning shears and soon I had accumulated a substantial stock of birch rods and switches on a big, flat rock. Next to the rock there is a big old weeping birch and the switches were full of small, very hard buds as this was before the leafing. The heavy switches reminded me of a multi-tailed scourge with hard knots and small weights.

I undressed and took everything off except for the thin top which I had under my sweater. It was not only the cold night which made my nipples hard and erect like never before, but also the apprehension and lust which was all the time building up within me. God, how I yearned to taste the birch rods on my pussy!

I had made sure that all switches and rods were long and flexible. The length and the elasticity was especially important to maximaze the impact of each cut. I tried several switches and in order to save them they had to be possible to roll together and then regain their normal form without breaking. Then it was fresh and flexible enough for my needs.

i took a long birch rod with several switches from the weeping birch and took position with widespread legs on a flat rock. The rock felt cold under my bare feet and the cool air against my exposed sex made me shiver with excitement. Now I really felt like a real slut, sinful and horny! This was a confidence given to me by an unknown man. I simply had to do it as good as I possibly could and strike with all my might. Would I be able to whip myself to climax? I often pinch myself and use my nails thoroughly when masturbating but still this was something different.

I raised my arm, the rod whistled through the air and I stuck out my bottom to meet the vicious cut. It hit me perfectly right across my buttocks and the elastic switches with the hard buds bit into my flesh. Oh, how good it hurt! The wonderful heat made me strike faster and faster, with a burning fire building up within my body, spreading from my glowing behind. I was wet and hot, lubricating more and more with every slash. I started caressing myself with my left hand while I kept on trashing away at my buttocks like mad.

Very soon I had worn out the first birch rod so I just picked up a new one and kept on frantically trashing my burning behind which I stuck out at an ever increasing pace to meet the cutting switches. Now and then they hit across my thighs and I was sobbing uncontrollably, my tears flowing down my face while I kept on trashing away faster and harder like mad.

Soon it was time for the first wicker - a heavier, more massive and thick rod, although still very flexible and sharp. It hurt terribly as it cut into my bruised, sore bottom. But I kept on striking again and again and now I was glad that I had gagged myself, otherwise I would have screamed out loud from the extreme pain. To somewhat ease the pain i started to jump up and down barefoot on the rock while I kept on whipping myself in an ever increasing frenzy.

My cunt! The words of my unknown Dom shone in letters of fire. Now the time had come! I was already on the brink of an orgasm after having masturbated frantically during the whipping but I wanted to reach my climax by means of the birch rod, just as ordered. Quickly I laid down on my back on the flat rock and the sensation as my burning, swollen rump pressed against the cold stone slab almost made me lose my breath. I kept on masturbating with my pussy vibrating, my sex lips were wide open, my juices flowing. Then I took the fresh birch rod from the weepng birch in my right hand and raised it as high in the air as I could. I pressed my heals against the rock, raising my body, exposing my pussy with my legs as much separated as possible. My wide-open sex felt like it would explode. I started to whip my pussy as hard as I could and the pain was so intense that I had to bite my lover lip very hard to be able to continue. I whipped my cunt! A burning, savage birching on my wide-open pussy! In my pussy! I bit my lip so hard I felt the taste of blood while I kept on trashing my poor pussy like desperate. My body was jerking, my pelvis gyrating in a wild ride of searing pain. Nothing existed but me and the biting switches that cut my sensitive flesh so cruelly.

I sobbed and cried and my eyes were blinded by tears. My wide-open sex shot up at the dark night sky in frantic, aggressive thrusts to meet the biting switches and I felt that I was about to climax. This was it! My lust and excitement had taken over the pain and I whipped myself like possessed, forcing myself to go on in an insane ride of pain and lust under the merciless cuts of the birch rod.

Then it happened! At last! I bucked like a mad bronco and threw my head in every direction, the gag muffling my cries of climax. I came again and again, finally collapsing on the rock, totally exhausted, with the birch rod falling from my powerless hand.

Finally I started coming to after the most intense orgasms I had experienced in ages. The rock felt cold and hard. I dressed and I could see that I had done a great job trashing my behind as I could not button up my jeans, When I and Ville got back home from our walk in the woods, my kids were sitting in front of the TV. When they asked I just told them that it was cold and bleak outside. A perfect evening for watching TV.

I could not think of sitting down. For a long time I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, admiring all the welts, bruises and marks on my body. I even had succeeded to slash several small bloody wounds in my flesh. I had been able to let loose and carry out the punishment with maximum efficiency thanks to the fact that I felt secure and at peace because Ville was guarding. I would definitely give him a great, nice meaty bone next day.

I did not sleep much that night as I lay face down with a wet towel on my welted, swollen bottom. I could not stop masturbating! My cries of ecstasy were drowned by the pillow and I knew I had to experience this again very soon.

STORY: The Devil's Daughter

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Please tell me how to hurt myself… need it so badly

I would like to ask you one thing. Would you like to give me instructions on how to punish myself, how to hurt myself? I have spoken with my Master a lot about this and we both agree that it would be a very exciting thing for me to obey orders from somebody unknown out there in cyberspace, carrying out the self-punishment to the letter. So please post a comment and tell me what to do. My limits are simply: no kidsex, no animalsex, no scat.

I took some photos while I was out walking the dog (my love Ville) today. One must say that Mother Nature is a clever girl. Yes, even Bobby Darin said so (in his 1961 hit ‘Multiplication’). I have become an addict of 50s/60s music after meeting my Master, who is a vinyl record collector. Not only has he taught me a lot of the finer points of submission, he has also introduced me to a world of great music that I hardly even knew existed before.

As for the photos and Mother Nature: she has it all lined up so neatly. She really has put every effort into serving us masogirls and our Masters. Just get outside – and you have it all. How about a good birching? Remove the leaves and you have a great weapon in your hand.

Yesss… it stings so good and simply set me on fire. Master usually sends me out to pick my own birch rods which he will later use on my bare bottom. This is one of the most exciting things I can think of right now.

Birch rods are also great for self-discipline. I also use many other type of switches. The general rule is that they shall be so flexible that you can fold them double and then they will go back to their normal state when you release them. If they break, they are not suitable for our purposes… A couple of great examples (remember to remove the leaves before use):

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Yes, I do use switches and birches quite a lot when I punish myself. But I sometimes want to go so far that I draw blood and that it is really very hard to do when whipping yourself with switches. Although I try and try to do my best, I hardly ever succeed. Fortunately, there is a great solution to this dilemma – thorns!

One single stroke of this and blood starts pouring out in several spots. When I whip myself with a thorn branch I simply cannot stop… I keep on lashing myself until blood is trickling down my thighs.

Ain’t I a crazy girl… ;-)

The whipping of Brigitte Bardot

This is a wonderful, sunny Saturday, almost like summer. This weekend is going to be great. I have just taken a long walk with Ville, my faithful dog. Unfortunately I have to wear jeans this hot day to conceal the marks on my thighs. Most welts have now turned black and blue and they still hurt, making me so excited. I took some pics of things that inspired me during our walk and I will get back to these.

Meanwhile, here is an exciting scene from the Italian film ‘Tre passi nel delirio’ where we will see the one and only Brigitte Bardot being whipped on her back after losing a card game. By the way, if you know some people who would like my blog, please send them here. And I will be glad if you leave a comment before you go.

My wonderful cane, oh how good it hurts ;-)

Earlier today I decided to use the heavier cane on myself. It’s in excess of one metre long and heavy, sturdy and massive. Each stroke leaves immediate after the impact two parallel bright red lines that soon form a pretty welt. Also, this special cane gives a very dull pain that lasts for a long time and the welts are very sore several days ater the caning, hurting at the slightest touch. Just after the caning, they burn deliciously and makes the fire spread within my body.

This cane also leaves lumps around the welts on places where I have struck especially hard. In all, this is a perfect instrument of correction if you want a lasting pain that will not fade away soon. In a few days, my welts will be beautifully black and blue.

I have whacked away at my bottom with full force and thighs and caused some really nice stripes. It hurts especially much where I have accidentally struck a previous welt or lump caused by the riding crop a couple of days earlier. Fifty hard strokes, as hard as I could possibly lay them on. I even got a couple of strokes across my left hand by mistake but that just adds to my excitement.

Naturally, it will never be the same as being caned by my Master but I still think I have done a quite good job. After the 50th stroke I was simply delirious with lust, horny as hell, and I have been masturbating for more than an hour, bringing myself to the most fantastic orgasms. When I masturbate I generally use my nails and pinch myself to maximize the climax. My poor clitoris is pretty sore right now ;-)

Haffnium, where are you?

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I love water sports

I just spoke to a man on a bondage mIRC channel and we talked about water sports. Actually, this was something I had been dreaming of for several years and finally I asked Master to do it. I have tried to find a pic which resembles my first experience of this as much as possible. Like this girl I was also kneeling in the bathtub and holding his cock to direct the jet of yellow liquid into my wide-open mouth. He held my hair firmly to keep my head in place. It was such a exciting sensation feeling the liquid squirting against my teeth, velum and down my throat. Actually, I found it very enjoyable swallowing it and I wanted more. Before I tasted it in my mouth I had been afraid that it would be repulsive and make me throw up but I found it very easy to swallow it. It was a strange, salty taste which I actually enjoyed, not to mention how utterly humiliated I felt. I tried to swallow as much as possible but could not cope with it all and some of it dripped down my body.

Later on Master arranged for me to serve several men through glory holes and I never knew who they were or if they knew me. To them I was just an anonymous slut on the other side of the wall, taking their urine in my face and mouth, swallowing as much as I could. Then I was ordered to take the showers in my face and over my hair. This kept on going for several hours and Master later told me that he had lined up lots of beer and other drinks for his guests to make them ready for action again.¨

This became a very positive experience and I am now very much into golden showers. The first time my stomach became slightly troubled from all the urine I swallowed but since then I have never experienced any troubles at all. This is a great complement to other punishments and I will definitely keep on doing it.

Caning scenes from ‘Happy Valley’

These caning and whipping scenes are really quite realistic. I especially enjoy seeing the last trashing when the Master of the house takes over the whipping himself and trashes the girl like mad until she passes out. My, would I like to trade place with that girl! Imagine receiving beatings like this each and every day… mmmm lovely…

Publically whipped and abused

Mmmm…. that was wonderful. It took a bit more than half an hour to administer the 50 strokes of the crop and I think I did quite well. My buttocks are covered with bright red stripes and I also took about ten on the front of my thighs. The welts are swollen and will be black and blue tomorrow.

Many of my fantasies involves public punishments of various kinds. These pictures by Picard really turns me on. How I would like to be this girl (although we are not very similar in appearance). Just imagine being chained to a cross in the town square, whipped with a sharp cane on my breasts before a cheering crowd.


The terrible punishment will go on and, with the crowd urging the whipmistress to beat me even harder.

After the flogging, my suffering is far from over. The mayor of the town is very excited from what he has seen and wants to beat me himself. So I am taken to his private office where he can beat and whip me for as long as he likes.
Mmm what a wonderful scene. And this is just the beginning….

I need a good cropping NOW!

Now is the right time for a good cropping! I need to feel the bite of stinging riding crop right away and as I am alone at home right now with nobody to disturb me, I am going to select a crop from my secret toolbox and give myself fifty hard strokes. The biggest problem when using the crop on myself is simply striking hard enough and in no way is it the same experience as when my Master whips me. It is often tempting to deliver all the strokes at a furious pace to get it over and done quickly but He would never do it that way. No, he delivers each cut swiftly and very hard, then he pauses between each stroke, letting the pain sink in and the fire spread through my body. Oh, how I love bending over for Him, anticipating each vicious stroke. He certainly knows how to set my body on fire and after each cropping, my poor bottom is criss-crossed with hard, swollen welts. And it makes me so gooddamn horny! *blushes*

I know I could never use the riding crop on myself as efficiently as He does when he whips me. But as my Master is far away right now, this is the second best thing.

Fifty hard strokes are what’s awaiting me. I will bend over before the bed, standing naked and strike as hard as I possibly can. I will try to make as long pauses as possible before the next stroke. When the 50th stroke has been delivered I know I will be hot and eager and I will bring myself to the most wonderful orgasms.

This is the crop I have selected. It stings soo good :-)

Tina’s confession

Yes, I willingly admit it: I am a masochist. There is nothing that turns me on so much as pain and humiliation. This does not mean, however, that I am searching for a “Master” or a Dom. Actually, I am owned in rl. Owned by a gentle, understanding and very strict Man who shares my views and visions perfectly. Neither of us want a 24/7 relationship. We are not living together and we have no desire to do so. But we do see each other, although it may take quite some time between each occasion. Both of us have the need to spend time alone and this is something which would probably not do our relationship any good if we were to live together.

Naturally, my Master uses me in every possible way and once I had tasted this wonderful world I realize that I never can or will go back to living an “ordinary” life with vanilla sex.
You would probably not notice anything special about me if we met. On the surface a quite ordinary single mother of two teenagers. Maybe a bit shy and discreet. Yes, that is also the picture I like to convey of myself. This blog is one way of letting out the steam – to share my thoughts and experiences with others who enjoy the lifestyle and have similar interests.

Once again: I am NOT looking for a Master, neither in rl or cyber. However, one thing that really turns me on is practising self-discipline. My beloved Master, owner of my body and my mind, often gives me detailed orders of self-discipline that I have to carry out and then report to Him. We both agree that it would be very exciting if somebody else would give me orders of self-discipline that I can carry out. I will then report of the results in the blog.

As for my limits: animalsex, kidsex and scat are definite no-nos for me. Also, mutilation and lasting damage is not my bag. Therefore, knife scars, for instance, is not something for me. However, I do have a very high pain tolerance and it increases all the time as the endorphin level is building up within my body. My Master often whips me so hard that bloody streaks results and when I use a whip or rod on myself, I want to strike as hard as I possibly can, leaving marks and scars that will last for a long time.

Although I live what seems like a most ordinary life, my passions are boiling beneath the surface all the time. Sometime I am totally desperate to get away to experience pain for a while and then drive myself to orgasms, one after another. Pain brings me the most wonderful orgasms and I could not live without it.

I am just starting this blog and I hope we will get to know each other better as we go along. Personally, I feel the mental part of dominance and submission very exciting and I love sharing fantasies. I also love to write about my experiences and fantasies.
So, this is my confession, or, shall we say, my introduction. I look forward to sharing thoughts, views and fantasies with you all.
Take care. *hugs* tina